guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
