The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
