can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
