I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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