So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
