And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
