Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
