now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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