YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
