Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
