Pants 0. Shit 1.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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