So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
