You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
