He asked to "fluff my boner.."
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
