Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
