Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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