Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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