You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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