Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
