We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
