my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
