so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
