apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
