Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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