She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
