Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
