I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
