shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
