if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
