I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
