i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
