What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
