eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
