even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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