I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
