I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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