Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
