I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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