i jhust puked up my retainher.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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