I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
