life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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