The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize