I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
