I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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