Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
