just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
