i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
