Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
