i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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