And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
