Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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