Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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