Me too!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
