I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
