i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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