Small penises have feelings too.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
