Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
