I must be too annoying 4 u.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
