I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
