who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
