Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize