yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
