if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
