He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
