is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
