cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize