Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize